Had a good chat with a friend today and I realised that i've indeed been trying to live the life that I sort of wanted, at least its what I want right now at this age and moment. :)
Haven't really noticed that i've been taking baby steps in living the life that I imagined myself to be living at the age of 18, going to 19 in 3 months' time. (Goodness gracious how time flies omg) It was until he mentioned, that I realised that there isn't a certain way of how we should look at things or how things are. Everything is flexible.
I've been such a restricted person all my life up till now, not saying that having a traditional mindset about things and being conservative is wrong or not good but we really need some flexibility in our life too huh. Everything is flexible, the way we think, do things, look at things, are all flexible and is not restricted by any boundaries. We are the one that set these "boundaries" to our set of thinking, the way we do things and our perspectives towards certain things. But having said that, I still think that some things have to abide by the moral "guidelines", which I believe shouldn't really be considered as a boundary, cos otherwise, murdering someone would become something that is acceptable. If that even make sense. LOL
Okay what do I mean when I say that i'm taking baby steps in living the life that I sort of want now. Was telling my friend that i'm really into drawing lately, but its really very much more like copying. I don't mean copying like I copy people's artwork but more like I think about what I want to draw to express myself and what I feel on the inside at that particular moment, but because I have trouble visualizing how things look like in my head, I basically have to hold onto my ideas in my head and go online or find things around me that is actually presented in front of me, such that I can use my vision, take it in directly and copy the physically body of the thing that is representing my thoughts and emotion at the moment, then present it as a "drawing" that actually reflects what i'm thinking or feeling. Does that actually make sense? LOL I'm not a naturally born artist, got to admit that but I don't see why I shouldn't draw just because I can't draw very well. (Cos its not like i'm intending to make art my career, even though I actually wouldn't mind if there are people that appreciates my kind of art, just cos I think the art industry is one that is very flexible and basically unrestricted and you are allowed to let your creativity run wild)
But surprise surprise~ I'm quite amazed that I decided to do something even though i'm not perfect at it, despite the fact that there will be others out there that's not going to like the things that I like or the things that I drew, in this case. This already doesn't sound like me right? But amazing enough, I feel at ease when I do this. I'm completely at ease when I draw something and put it out online, on social platforms to share my self expressions. And honestly I feel flattered and extremely humbled when people that I don't know personally, from another part of the world, happened to come across my drawings, and decided to like it, when they themselves are amazing artists. This is crazy. I can't tell you how much that boosts my confidence, which also brings me back to the topic on flexibility. The discussion with my friend tonight, left me with a conclusion that I would say is pretty known already but its once again emphasised to me tonight and he made a point that I think encouraged me to keep my creativity juices flowing. Very grateful for that.
Art, to me is a form of self expression and there really isn't a fixed form of art, since music, dance, visual art, abstract art, they are all classified as arts. You name it, you got it. My view and horizon on the definition of art is widened when my friend told me that by collecting the cup sleeve from every cup of Starbuck's Green Tea Latte that I drank then writing down a thought of the day or a thought while drinking and put it all together, is a form of art by its own. I'm amazed at how such a simple thing can be classified as a from of art. It was then that I realised that hey i'm actually capable of such things. Who says art got to be paint and canvas? Well at least I don't restrict myself to think that way anymore. Haha.
These are some of the doodles that I did fairly recently, honestly speaking, I think they are all flawed, but all flawed in their own unique ways I guess, as what I would like to call it. Haha. Even if they are not perfect doodlings, I felt happy and content to be able to come up with them so why not? :)
But surprise surprise~ I'm quite amazed that I decided to do something even though i'm not perfect at it, despite the fact that there will be others out there that's not going to like the things that I like or the things that I drew, in this case. This already doesn't sound like me right? But amazing enough, I feel at ease when I do this. I'm completely at ease when I draw something and put it out online, on social platforms to share my self expressions. And honestly I feel flattered and extremely humbled when people that I don't know personally, from another part of the world, happened to come across my drawings, and decided to like it, when they themselves are amazing artists. This is crazy. I can't tell you how much that boosts my confidence, which also brings me back to the topic on flexibility. The discussion with my friend tonight, left me with a conclusion that I would say is pretty known already but its once again emphasised to me tonight and he made a point that I think encouraged me to keep my creativity juices flowing. Very grateful for that.
Art, to me is a form of self expression and there really isn't a fixed form of art, since music, dance, visual art, abstract art, they are all classified as arts. You name it, you got it. My view and horizon on the definition of art is widened when my friend told me that by collecting the cup sleeve from every cup of Starbuck's Green Tea Latte that I drank then writing down a thought of the day or a thought while drinking and put it all together, is a form of art by its own. I'm amazed at how such a simple thing can be classified as a from of art. It was then that I realised that hey i'm actually capable of such things. Who says art got to be paint and canvas? Well at least I don't restrict myself to think that way anymore. Haha.
These are some of the doodles that I did fairly recently, honestly speaking, I think they are all flawed, but all flawed in their own unique ways I guess, as what I would like to call it. Haha. Even if they are not perfect doodlings, I felt happy and content to be able to come up with them so why not? :)
This is actually my hand by the way. LOL I kind of screwed up at the pinky but oh wells.
And then this, a piece that I just completed ytd, with pencil then tracing over it with a pen, just so I thought the drawing will be able to stay permanent if its in pen. LOL But the effect of what the tip of the pen can provide the drawing with makes me pretty satisfied so i'm good. :) It's a special piece to me as well, just cos "Your hope is deeper than pain" is from the song "I'll be your love", that I mentioned in my previous blogpost, that its a song that picks me up and pushes me on, sends a wave of calming effect over me when I needed it and I really liked that particular sentence. :) The meaning behind this drawing is very direct and simple, nothing too abstract too and like I said, everything I draw represents something that I feel on the inside.
Really proud that i've come this far, really working towards what I want and what I like, living for myself, for who I am. The pair of wings represents hope, and the barb wire represents pain. Notice that the barb wire only holds onto the end of the wings? Its my way of expressing that I am full of hope for the future and i'm breaking free from what's holding me down and constantly causing me pain. The other end of the barb wire is left pretty long because it signifies that i've came a long way to reach the stage that i'm at right now and i'm really proud of it. :)
Oh ya this is the unedited version, I didn't use any filters for this photo but I edited it on the brightness and exposures and all that stuff that I wished I didn't have to use but the lighting of the original photo is just really bad. Sigh.
Really happy, really fulfilled, feels like i'm finally making a change, sort of, a good change. Haha. There's a few more things that I am into right now, that I have the intention of pursuing in the near future. Violin is definitely one of them, after I get the strings fixed. LOL Then photography is another thing that I wish to try, just cos I want to capture memories of things around me, that sort of stuff. Haha And also to look at things from a different perspective, different angle I guess. My future self is gonna thank me for all that i'm doing right now haha. Can't explain how fulfilled I feel at the moment really. I totally see how constant positive energy and positive vibes changes the way you think and the way you look at things. I can see myself accomplishing the resolutions of the year 2014 and i'm really happy, thankful, looking forward and feeling really blessed with what i've got right now. :)
xoxo
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