REFLECTIONS ON THE LAST DAY OF 2012

2012 is coming to an end really really quickly. In just a few more hours' time it would be the start of  2013. I'm really looking forward to it just like how I looked forward to Christmas and now that it has passed, its the next "event" in line that i'm looking forward to. Loving new starts as always~

2012 has been quite an eventful year for me, with a lot of things going on in my life one after another. I still remember rather vividly the first time I worked with Jiayun, Kaeli and Delia at a factory at Jurong Port road during the start of the year and being the first one to quit the job cos it was very tiring and I thought I couldn't take it anymore but now that I think back, I probably should hang in there a little longer. Could have earned a bit more money! Hahaha. Oh! And the mixed rice uncle that is so cute, forever knowing what I want to order for lunch and the few of us sitting on the stairs eating our lunch and chatting.. Those times. :') 

Then finally O levels results are out and I did pretty average, not anything fantastic but yet acceptable enough to get me into a relatively okay course in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Choosing my course was like the toughest thing ever, like my life literally depended on it. I mean it does make sense that my life depends on where I go but that actually refers to where it'll lead me to in the future. Finally ended myself up in Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering when I failed my JPSAE interview despite putting in so freaking much effort into preparing what to say to their possible questions that could be bombarded at me as well as my portfolio which I think I ought to do better in making it seem more fantastic. To be very honest, i'm definitely not someone that has done a whole lot of special things or special achievements throughout the current 17 years of my life. Haha. Probably should start doing some stuff worth remembering about! 

School started in April and I was thrown into this new environment with new people and none of my friends were with me. I wanted to become more sociable by the end of this year but it seems to backfire pretty badly. Haha. I'm not extremely close with the people in my class and i'm probably considered as the loner in my class and its really something that I would like to reflect on by the end of this year and something that I would want to improve on in 2013. Fortunately, I found people whom I can be comfortable with and get close with in my CCA and I guess that's not too bad after all huh. Found something that i've been longing to do since primary 4 or 6 and am finally doing it is quite an accomplishment. Heh.

Then came the first semester's common tests and final exams which I screwed up pretty badly and I became really lacked of confidence. I got lost for a while and needed time to pick myself up again which I haven't  really done so till now. I still feel that I am not good enough for a lot of things and I can't make myself feel useful sometimes. Especially in terms of academics and in fencing. Had my very first competition this year and 2 others following but all was in vain. This is when I get reminded of the fact that i'm not good enough. But oh wells. Never have I been good enough in anything. 

Some bigger and more memorable events this year would be the Epee BBQ at ECP and the recent NPF Christmas gathering at Signature Park condominium and returning back to Fuhua to have a meetup with our ex teachers, going for Yongchee's passing out parade, NPF bonding camp, NPF training camp, ohhh and at the very start of the year's LSCT FOC, etc! (whoa thats pretty much!)

End of the year, some things have changed, I have changed, people around me have changed, but new things have been happening every day and I look forward to each coming day as always, probably with a bigger than ever heart, or maybe with a less positive mindset. We can't stay positive forever right? There are bound to be days when we are down and when everything just doesn't seem to go the way we want it to go. But be blessed that we are given the opportunity to live, to be on this revolving planet, despite the fact that we may face challenges all the time.

With every person that dislikes you, there'll be someone who loves you. With every challenge you face, there'll be a solution for a way out. With every sadness you may experience, there'll be a smile awaiting behind that tear. So don't worry. 2013 will be a blast. :)

I thank whoever, whatever that contributed to my experiences in the year of 2012, making me grow, mature, learn, cry, smile, experience, endured and loved. I cherish what I have more than ever because I know that they don't come easy and should not be taken for granted. I look forward to the new things that may happen in the new year as well as the new people that I may meet. 

May 2013 be a blast for everyone. :)

Cheers! Happy holidays and happy new year! ♥

FANGIRL MODE ON

CUTEST GIRL EVER!! XD

Ji Hyun Woo's confession!! *ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

I may be a little slow cos this was what happened in June I think, but seriously. THEY ARE LIKE THE CUTEST TOGETHER. :D

QUEEN AND I, QUEEN INHYUN'S MAN

"Queen and I" or "Queen Inhyun's man" is a korean drama that was shown on Mediacorp's channel U a while back and has just recently ended on the 23rd of december, sunday. I missed the show cos I slept through the night after returning home from school after NP fencing invites. Was too tired and couldn't stay up, furthermore, my alarm didn't mange to wake me up cos my phone's battery died while I was sleeping and there was no alarm. I was super sad and made it a point to actually try to find it online so that I can finish watching the final episode. I knew I had to finish watching the last episode of the drama because the plot of the drama actually had quite a bit of suspense in it and I had to know what happen at the end, whether the couple really got separated or were they back together. I kind of expected them to be separated cos the second last episode was so sad. This drama brought so much tears to my eyes you wouldn't believe. I had to try so hard holding back my tears everytime I watch it cos I didn't like the idea of crying in front of my mum. 

 

♥

 Ji Hyun Woo & Yoo In Na

 Few of the sweetest scenes from the show.♥

Okay so basically, the drama is about a couple, whereby the male lead is from a 300 years back and the female lead is from modern seoul in 2012. The male lead, Ji Hyun Woo, travelled through time and ended up knowing the female lead, Yoo In Na and their feelings for each other developed through the times they spent together. And all this started due to the presence of a talisman that was given to the male lead. Followed by the destruction of the talisman, the couple got separated back to their respective worlds but got back together again when the talisman was put together again. However, man cannot be allowed to have a say in their fate, let alone control it. While trying to control his own fate, the male lead lost the things that he had one by one, eventually losing everything and had to live a wandering life in the world where he originally belonged, away from the woman he loved so deeply. (it was until here that I thought they would be separated for good cos the talisman has alr become black and he made the decision of burning it hoping that by doing so, he can relief the female lead from the suffering that she is undergoing because they couldn't be together) Following the permanent destruction of the talisman, somehow the female lead that forgot about everything that she once had with the male lead, recalled everything and they got back together for real in modern seoul one year after the separation. (I don't quite know how the man got back to modern seoul in the end but i'm so happy that he was able to be back with the girl cos when I see them cry due to the absence of each other, its like the most heart wrenching thing ever)

Now that I think of it, "Secret garden" by Hyun Bin and Ha Ji Won is also another korean drama that made me hold back a whole lof of tears. :')

 

I'm really really glad that I managed to watch "Queen In Hyun's man" in the end and had to hold my tears in again but it was all worth it. :)

♥

LOSER MENTALITY

It just never fail to bring me down, time and again. It just seems that whatever I do isn't gonna be enough to bring me to greater heights.

Oh wells, whatever.

On a side note, I really dislike judgmental people. Or rather, very judgmental people. Just by a look I can see all the possible things about me being judged inside. It doesn't feel good at all. AT ALL. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS ♥

Merry Christmas!! 

Finally the arrival of this amazing day. I've been waiting for SO long just for christmas. I love love love the whole ambiance basically everywhere during christmas period cos you can see christmas lights shining from other people's windows, shopping malls are generally pretty much decorated up etc. Its just a good feeling to know that the year is coming to an end and a brand new year is arriving while we celebrate the most joyous and warm festive season of the year.

My favourite public holiday of all actually is christmas cos like I mentioned before, christmas gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling on the inside.:)

Plus plus plus, i've actually been watching 2 of my favourite vloggers on youtube, Ingrid (TheGridMonster) and Luke Conard (Luke) create their vlogmas thinggy, whereby they will vlog everyday till christmas and they are so cute to watch!! ♥♥♥

Okay so today there'll be a Christmas gathering over at Signature park condominium and i'm alr super looking forward to it! I know for sure that it'll be absolutely fun and a night to remember, with gift  exchange and everything. So I guess that's all for now? Heh. Happy holidays to everyone and may you all enjoy this season of warmth, joy and love.:)

 ♥

"Snowflake"

Favourite Christmas love song for now. What about yours? :)
Merry Christmas! ♥

 

NP FENCING INVITES

Yes, Ngee Ann Fencing Invites is finally over. Kudos to the fellow fencers that took charge of this whole event. I find it pretty impressive given that its considered a relatively big event, where quite a number of other organizations are involved. *clapclap*

The first day checking into school was fun, I got the chance to see how the piste we usually use during competitions is fixed together but all of a sudden, other than the fixing of the piste, I can hardly remember any other details of the very first day in school. Second day was when the event actually started and there was the foil men and women individual event that took off with a blast. Third day in school and it was my turn to fence in the women's epee individual event early in the morning if I didn't remember wrongly. 

Okay, speaking  of the women's epee individual event, I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted to achieve in this competition initially. I wasn't nervous or whatsoever even during the morning of the competition when I woke up in the loft.. It just didn't felt like competition. And then it came. The anxiety and fear came when I saw the others preparing for the event, resetting the scoreboard and changing the timing on the scoreboard itself, 3 min per bout. It only hit me when I kept staring at the 3 min on the scoreboard cos I was wondering what could happen in that 3 min. Anything can happen. I don't know my opponents, neither do they know me. But I didn't know what I would do during the real 3 min I have later on. The anxiety was pretty scary and it almost took me over. It felt like something new to me, given that it was my very first individual event. Got into the same poules as Hoyang and my first few bouts weren't smooth at all. Only till the last bout did I manage to get the feel right on track. But eventually lost even the final bout when I lost priority to my opponent and had to attack her for 1 min but to no avail. I couldn't go pass her defences. I knew then that I probably wouldn't make it through the direct elimination but because of my pride, deep down I wished and wished that I can have a chance to at the very least fence a few more bouts before I get kicked out. I gave myself hope that I might still have the slightest chance to get in. BUT NO. I didn't and having someone else tell me that "you are eliminated", cos I couldn't see the board LOL, is not fun at all. I felt like a real loser. Till now I still do. It just wouldn't leave me, the feeling of being kicked out just after 5 bouts. Definitely something that I wouldn't forget. 

Last day in school, basically ytd, was the women's epee team event and I was in the same team as huiyu, suyuan and jernelle and basically we lost the team event as well. But I was carrying with me the fear of failure from the day before, I made a mistake that till now I keep thinking to myself that it probably would be of a different ending if I had lost lesser points to my opponent right at the start. I only fully understood what I was supposed to do with the "strategic fencing" in a team event after that fatal bout which was alr too late by then. 

Through NP Invites, I may not have performed well, achieved NOTHING, (got to be this frank with myself even though it freaking hurts when I think of it) but there are definitely many learning points that i've walked away with at the end of the whole event. I know what I want now in my next competition, which I believe is the SMU Asian Varsity Challenge. It might be cos of pride that i'm dying to achieve something in a competition and it actually need not be a medal yet. Its basically a personal inside goal that I set myself. 

NP Invites has fired my yearn to win and my competitiveness very very much. 我不甘心我做不到. I have this on repeat in my head. I want to show that I can as well, not only other people. Whether is it academics or anything, from the past till now, I hate it when people look down upon me and think that I cannot do it but i'm not saying this in anger. They have every right to look down on me until the day I prove to them that I can be better than what you think I can do. What goes around comes around. I think everyone has their turn to shine. You can shine now but might not shine forever. I may not shine now but I probably would in the future.

Now, with higher than ever expectations of myself, i'm ready to go. :)

Cheers.^^ Happy Christmas Eve~ <3

FREEDOM

Yupyup that's right! 2 weeks of freedom even though I might not exactly be free. Hahaha. Common tests are over and trust me. I'm so gonna enjoy my holidays. 

Just went out shopping with 2 of my lovely girls over at 313 and Cineleisure and bought stuff. Hehehe. As usual~ Met Boya and Eliane after my last common test paper and had a lot of fun eating lunch at Pastamania, I ate "Chicken ham and cheese crumble", (super fantastic, <3 pasta!) watched a super cute movie 《南方小羊牧场》, went shopping and basically just spending time together. 

The cute sheep drawn by the female actress in the movie! Really cute die me I tell you! 

And the wolf drawn by the male actor in the movie! Like these are actually like "characters" of the movie, representing the male and female main leads in the whole story.

Another one~ 

That's right, the wolf fell in love with the sheep and so did the two of them~ Haha. Super cute. Trust me! Its the cutest movie I ever watched. Love love the way they filmed the whole movie, give a really light and refreshing touch to it, hardly ever seen in usual movies. But don't expect too much from the storyline. It basically is a pretty simple story but its going to be a lot more enjoyable if you just focused on the way it is presented. Pretty funny too and cute couple! Probably 4 out of 5 stars? ^^

Then later today i'm going to huiyu's house with others for her housewarming and its probably gonna be fun too heh. Then next monday i'm going to help out in huiyu and desiree's video production assignment and i'm pretty nervous about that cos i'm not with acting and I think its gonna be a whole lot of awkward faces from me on monday. Haha. However, its a first time for me so i'm probably going to try to enjoy myself on monday. Tuesday Hoyang said she want me to watch 3AM with her which i'm quite fearful of omg.TT Wednesday is going to be an off day to rest and maybe get some "me time" with myself. :) Thursday onwards till Sunday i'll be in school cos of NP invites that's coming up on the 21 December till 23 December, *looking forward*. So that's the first week of the holidays~

Second week's first day, which is Monday when I return home from school on Sunday would alr be Christmas eve and it officially marks the arrival of Christmas, the day that i've been waiting for so long~ AND THEN IT IS CHRISTMAS ON TUESDAY!!! Gonna be attending a NPF Christmas gathering over at Signature Park condominium and wow i'm totally looking forward to this one. Gift exchange, food, people, fun, basically everything nice I presume. *CAN'T WAIT*. And after Christmas would be a few days before the SMU Asian Varsity something something, another fencing challenge I think if I didn't remember the date wrongly. And after which it would be NEW YEAR, another amazing festive season that we all look forward to and that marks the end of the second week and SCHOOL STARTS AGAIN. Hahaha! :P

 Sounds pretty packed schedule huh? I think it is pretty packed. LOL. So packed that I actually hardly have time for friends! :( I don't know about the initial plans to go out with some of them yet and that's really kinda sad.:( Cos I really want to see them soon!! Miss miss miss everyone! Hopefully can bahh~~ 

OH WAIT. Ytd, 15th was Helen's birthday. So shoutout to Helen Ho HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING! <3

 HAHAHA. Pancake "cake"xD

 

Anw, ending this post, as you grow older, you start to realise that enjoying your vacations doesn't necessary mean to go overseas or whatever, but rather to spend time and hang out with people that you cherish and are important to you. Bet im right for this part! :P Long time since I last went overseas but yes I super happy just being able to spend time with my friends and all the other important people around me. So spend some quality time with the people around you this festive season and have a blast!! 

 Okay this is so damn cute. Ending this post here then! ^_^

Cheers! :)

121212

Okay luh that's just what I wanted to say. Hahaha. The next one is in a century's timeee~ So happy 121212 ppl? :P

Cheers! :)

忙里偷闲.

Yupyup I know, Common Test is still ongoing, and I finished 2 papers already, 2 more to go. Amazingly, I don't really see Common Tests as a chore this time round, except for one particular module which i'm quite sure that it wouldn't turn up very nice but I guess i'm prepared for that. Can't do anything, paper's alr over. And it's quite funny that I can see things in such a casual manner now. I don't know if its just today but yeah I just felt that it is something expected, maybe that's why it didn't came as a shock. If it even make sense of course. Haha.

Oh ya! Tmw is kind of like my day off cos there isn't any papers and so it'll just be another study day for me till the end of this week. I do have a lot of things lined up for me in the next two weeks that i'm definitely very looking forward to after the Common Tests. Definitely cheered me up whenever studying gets too tough. 

11 Dec is my mum's birthday and I went over to Jurong Point after my OBC paper to get her a cake from the Icing Room and I bought her the one called "mango luv" I think? It tastes pretty good. Remembered buying that for eliane's birthday this year too. Heh. Then I passed by Rubi and omg. I saw shoes that were freaking pretty selling at 2 for $30 and as usual, I couldn't resist the temptation and went in to shop a bit. Haha. Okay maybe not exactly a bit but you know what I mean. :P Bought a Maroon coloured pair of sneakers I guess? I don't know what's that called and another pair of navy flats which I feel that the quality is definitely there, definitely worth the price. In fact it's a pretty good deal. I wanted to act fast cos its always SUPER difficult to buy shoes at Rubi cos I usually wear Rubi shoes of size 36-37, depending on the shoe design in general and that's a pretty common size huh. Every time I go into Rubi and see some amazing shoes, cfm no size.-.- And they were actually restocking the rack today so I knew I had to move FAST. Hahaha and I did it~ 

 Bought this in maroon and I really thought it was a really nice colour.

And these in navy blue.:P

Oh and I almost got these too. But decided not to in the end.:(

And I managed to catch up a little with Jiexuan today which reminded me of the fact that there are still genuine friends around me, not to say that I don't have good friends in poly, just saying~ Maybe cos we've been classmates for 2 years before, some even 4 years. And so secondary school is the time of my  life which I really fostered really good friendships and which is why I still have so many people that I hold dear to. I know there are people like these in poly that I will meet and get to know. I'm kind of confident about that. It just takes time. :) 

Okay luh I guess that's pretty much it. 

Last but not least, sharing a video that I watched today. :)

"when it counts"-- WongfuProductions.

Love their short films as always. Should watch episodes 1 and 2 too if you want to understand the whole story.

Majestic as always. 

Bye! Cheers. :)

MY BIG DAY

Hello~~ Despite being very busy preparing for my upcoming common tests which is actually starting on the 10th December, I wanted to share this really good news. See anything different about me?? I FINALLY TOOK MY BRACES OUT! :D Showing off my new smile to my parents the moment I get home from my dental. I was a little worried  about the whole dental trip today cos I wasn't exactly sure if my dentist would take it out for me but seems like he did! He made the cutest comment ever, since I first saw him 2 years ago. He said: " Hmm.. Actually can take out already luh. Enough of braces!" I laughed out cos he hardly ever talk to me in such a casual manner and to think  that he actually did it today! 

Now that I think of it, I went over to my dentist exactly 2 years ago. His prediction was really accurate! I really took the braces out 2 years later! Hahaha. Love love love my dentist. His professionalism is something that I respect. ^^ And the fact that he gave me such a perfect smile (in my point of view), a new appearance that I know I can be confident with. :') Okay luh it isn't the best smile on earth cos I have weird gaps between my "rabbit's teeth" and that's cos I chipped my teeth before when I was younger so can't blame him. Hehehe.:P

Nonetheless, I AM REALLY HAPPY WITH MY NEW SET OF TEETH! Though I have to admit that it looks like veneers from far cos its so flat on the surface. Haha. But at least its straight nowww~~ :D

Going back to jurong point to collect my retainers tmw! Ate waffles, first thing after removing the braces cos my mum bought it for me. And the feeling is BEST. Hahaha. 

 081212! :D

 Kind of how I feel now. If it even makes sense.:P

Byeee~ Cheers! ^_^

PHOTO INSPIRATION OF THE DAY

Hehehehehe. I hope this made you smile like it made me smile! Never realised this have you? ^_^