It hurts so bad I don't know what to do about it. Suddenly physical pain seems to be so much more bearable than what i feel on the inside. 

There's no painkiller for my heart.. 

我要很爱很爱很爱自己。在那之前我要先把自己逼到垮掉。现在唯一想做的事。

Whatever~ idgaf. Anymore. 

Ha. Thanks.

PROMISE

This bracelet totally reminded me of the bracelet that Holiday was wearing in Triumph in the skies II. The concept is similar and I thought the person that came up with this is a genius and it holds a lot of meaning to it. :) 

Photo from Tacori

"The result of the design collaboration between Tacori and Wendy Nguyen of Wendy's Lookbook, this is the Promise bracelet. The Promise bracelet must be locked and unlocked with a Tacori Key, which symbolizes the Promise that is made. Made of entwining silver and gold, the design represents two unique individuals uniting through a Promise. Once the bracelet is fastened, only the key holder can unlock the Promise. The connection chain links both parts of the bracelet and symbolizes that the bracelet is always connected."

Supposedly the bracelet that Holiday wore in Triumph in the skies II

Not too sure what brand is it "made under" but the concept is similar where only the person with the key can lock and unlock the bracelet like how that one person has the key to your heart. I've recently saw someone along the street wearing the bracelet that Holiday was wearing.. Maybe its really easily found online because of the movie haha. 

Anw, just thought that this is a very beautiful piece of jewelry so as the meaning behind it, regardless if its the Tacori one or not. Its just different designs with the same beautiful meaning behind it. :) But honestly, the Promise bracelet is a lot more feminine, in my opinion. Heh.

TUGGING HEARTSTRINGS

Tada~ Surprise surprise! I actually do own a violin and its pretty much a regular violin just like any other, nothing too fancy or too different but its the very first instrument that I own, not including the recorder that we were made to buy in primary school. 

I started picking up the violin when I was 11 years old and merely had one year worth of lessons. Had 2 different teachers throughout the one year because my first teacher had to leave me for NS and I was stuck with my second teacher throughout after that. I didn't quite know why I wanted to pick up the violin at the beginning. I guess I was inspired by my primary 4 form teacher then. He was a very respectable man that I look up to and he played a very important role in my growing years. 

Despite the fact that I didn't quite know why I picked up the violin in the first place, I do know that I have always loved the sound of a violin. I have appreciated the violin much more than any other instrument present. Everything about the violin is so charismatic and it just tugs at me, pulling me closer. A violin is, in my opinion, the instrument that has the most emotions in it. 

I can be very impressed when I listen to a guitar or piano cover. But I am beyond impressed when I listen to a violin cover. Its like the violin can literally replace the lyrics and emotions in a song and I feel that its something that other instruments are not capable of. I would boldly say that a violin is the the instrument of emotions and its a regret that I couldn't continue learning 5 years ago. 

Okay I definitely didn't appreciate the violin as much as I do now because as always, the learning process is tough and when you are not used to it, your fingers hurt till calluses grow on your fingertips and it was something that over took my interest and appreciation for the instrument. Not going to lie, I feel ashamed for letting the chance go all because of very minor and superficial reasons then. I guess its the difference in mindset that made me have this change of attitude towards the instrument over the years. But I recently took out my violin again, tuned my own violin for the very first time, with a tuner of course, and picked it up all over again. I didn't sign up for lessons again but I am definitely considering doing so in the near future, just cos I think the violin deserved a second chance in my hands. 

I always told people that I am not musically inclined but weirdly enough, the violin feels right in my hands this time. Picking it up all over again was not easy cos it has been such a long time that I sort of forgot the notes on the strings and had to take some time to figure things out, sounds ridiculous I know hais. It has been THIS long. But its okay, now that I am already able to practice as what I did back then, I found the joy that was overpowered by the pain in the past. It felt good. :) 

I fail to understand why I had not been able to bear with the pain in the past when I can play for two plus hours straight now and doing the most tedious thing ever, figuring out the notes to a piece of music that I do not have the scores for. Too young then I guess. Now the pain on my fingertips feels like its nothing and its a whole new experience. :) 

Despite it being a very classical instrument, I liked the idea of being able to play by ear to anything that  I come across. I know I know. Its impossible or at least near impossible for me at the moment. I had a tough time figuring out the notes for the piece that i'm trying to learn but i'm just afraid that I am very restricted because i've only took lessons for merely a year, which is honestly not enough to even learn new pieces. Trying hard at the moment I don't know how it will turn out but oh well~ 

A very talented violinist, Daniel Jang. Probably my favourite cover from him. I think songs with violin as a part of the background music is very much more pleasant to the ear. :) For example, "Forever" by Mark Britten. Dying to learn the violin part but omg I cannot find the sheet music for it so have been trying to play it by ear and its tough. But its so beautiful. :( 

And this one from Secret Garden. Too beautiful. :')